sew what

For Christmas this year I got this awesome sewing machine, but there seems to be one problem: I can't sew.  It's annoying because in my head I'm Coco Chanel but in reality...  I. just. suck.  

It's ok though, Rome wasn't built in a day right? So I'm just going to keep on keeping on and one day you'll all be paying through the nose for my designer label, and you'll do it happily. 

  

dream come true?

 Last night I had a dream that I went to our neighbors yard sale and I got a desk for free.  Guess what happened today?  I went the that same neighbors yard sale and I got a desk for free.

Weird huh?

It's not the prettiest desk in the world but I have big plans for it.  I'll post some pictures of it after I finish it's makeover.
Not that I'm complaining about my gift of foresight or anything (ha ha), but why do my dreams tell me where I can find free furniture instead of things like.... oh, I don't know..... where I can find gold in the Wasatch mountains?  or how about a dream telling me to fly to New Zealand so that Richard Kahui can finally meet and fall in love with me?
My subconscious really needs to get it's priorities straightened out.

I'm a bum... lately

So it's been about two weeks since I've moved home and I feel like a complete bum.  I have no job so basically all I do is, homework (occasionally for my online class), read the Hunger Games, and go to the gym.  It sounds nice... and it was for the first few days, but now I feel kind of useless.  I noticed this past semester at school that the days where I had a lot to do were the days that I was the most productive.  When I had a free day I would plan on getting caught up with everything but I would always end up doing something like watching youtube all day long instead.  So now that I really have very few responsibilities, my good intentions of doing productive things with my days always end up in failure.  So I'm a bum who gets nothing done.  I really need a job, and not just for the money or so that I'm more productive, I need a job so that I get that feeling of accomplishment and that boost to your self-esteem that comes with a job (even the crappy ones), I always take that feeling for granted.  I hate when everyone comes home for the day and asks me what I've done and then I have to say that horrible word... "nothing." It's really not good on your self esteem.  So yeah, that's my life lately and that's why I haven't posted anything for a while.  But on a happier note!  I do finally feel good about the future because I finally have a plan and some solid goals that I feel are possible to accomplish.  I would share them with you now but I'm kind of a superstitious person sometimes and I feel like when you  say out loud (or in this case write) what you really want you will get jinxed or something... it's like making a wish on a star, or when you blow out your birthday candles... you can't tell anyone what you wished.  And at this point, my plans are more like wishes than anything else so I'm keeping them to myself for now.  

I have 6 minutes to write something...

and then I have to do homework.

I don't really have anything to say but I just wanted to make an offer to everyone.  I'm going to let some lucky person take my work shifts for the REST OF MY LIFE!!! 

That's an offer no one can refuse right?

First come first serve.

Just remember that any money earned goes to my bank account.

Thank you and good luck.

I'm supposed to be doing homework right now but I'm not.

Instead, I'm enjoying some guilty pleasures: reading blogs and watching The Biggest Loser.  I think I deserve it because today has been long and hard so my homework will have to wait till tomorrow.  For one thing, I'm sick and my knee still hurts from the half marathon so I haven't been able to workout as much as I would like.  Another thing that made today so unpleasant is the weather, it was FREEZING!  I really don't know how I'm going to make it though the winter this year.  So today at work when a girl came in with a bag that had "Scotland" written all over it, I just had this all consuming desire in me to go... but you know what? 

 I can't. 

Sadly, Mr. Burns isn't willing to pay enough for me to spend a weekend in Scotland.  Maybe one day I won't need to depend on a "Mr. Burns" but the way things are playing out in my life, it doesn't seem likely... but a girl can dream right?

In other news....

oh wait.

I have no news.

But I do want to share this little bit of wisdom that I recently read in the book "Villette," which is one of the best books I've ever read.  Actually... make that two bits of wisdom.

1)

"A strong, vague persuasion, that it was better to go forward than backward, and that I could go forward-- that a way, however narrow and difficult, would in time open, predominated over other feelings."

2)

"Reason still whispered me, laying on my shoulder a withered hand, and frostily touching my ear with the chill blue lips of eld... I groaned under her bitter sternness.  Never-- never-- oh, hard word! This hag, this Reason, would not let me look up, or smile, or hope: she could not rest unless I were altogether crushed, cowed, broken-in, and broken-down.  According to her, I was born only to work for a piece of bread, to await the pains of death, and steadily through all life to despond.  Reason might be right; yet no wonder we are glad at times to defy her, to rush from under her rod and give a truant hour to Imagination-- her soft, bright foe, our sweet Help, our divine Hope."

The Family News

The family has been very busy lately. Here are some things we've been up to!

(you can see the pictures better if you click on them)

Dad's been staring in a hit TNT tv show called "The Closer"

Erin and Britten have been recruited into the Moscow Ballet

Mom has been hard at work studying Mt. Vesuvius

We don't know what Spencer's been doing.

Hayley took on Roger in the "Match of the Century" as John Mcencroe called it.

And she won, of course.

Wanderlust

"I saw in their eyes something I was to see over and over in every part of the nation - a burning desire to go, to move, to get under way, anyplace, away from any here... nearly every American hungers to move."

Ever since I went to Europe I've been restless and impatient for the day that I can get out of here again..... I guess I don't mean "get out of here," I mean it like John Steinbeck says, "away from any here"....

ya know what I mean?

I just want to go. Go to New Zealand, go to Switzerland, go to... I don't really care, I just want to go!

ughhhhhhhh.....

I get jealous when I hear about people who go out and travel the world for years at a time. How do they do it? or a better question would be: How can I do it?!

Let's pretend that I had the time and money to go for a year and get travel out of my system. Would it be irresponsible and selfish? And would it ever really get out of my system, or is this an incurable problem?

questions, questions....

I've tried settling for the past 2 years and it's not workin. It reminds me of another Steinbeck quote from Travels with Charley:

"When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked."

Dang it.

Je suis nostalgique

Two years ago this month

I went here

And lived with these guys

In this neighborhood

and did a lot of fun stuff with these girls.

Can I please go back????

If anyone wants to come, I'll show you around!

We can dress up like tourists (see below picture) and go here

and here

and here

and we'll get to all these places on one of these little treasures!

It will be fun!

How much fun you ask?

well, watch this and you'll get a taste...

Ok, maybe that was a bad example.

Try this.

This is exciting...

OK, I'm just rambling now.

Sorry.

Don't read this.

I can't do it anymore! Something has got to give, cause I'm going to go crazy and pull all my hair out or something. Today just really sucked and laying here on my bed, thinking how I have to get up tomorrow and go through another day exactly like EVERY day of my boring, annoying life makes me want to sneak out through my window tonight and take the earliest flight outta here. Seriously. I'm going to sneak away to a place where the bathrooms are clean, where people don't have to stare at a computer for 8 hours a day, and where all the cars always start the first time and can't be heard from 5 miles away. Is that too much to ask? Does a place like this even exist?