Dear _______ ,

I don't understand you, I've tried to for a while now but I always end up going in circles and ending up with these three possible conclusions:

1) You have brain damage.

2) You do these strange, illogical things intentionally to get revenge for something I did that I cant remember. Your ultimate goal must be to make me go crazy and end up in a padded room somewhere.

3) You are not human.

I think that #2 or #3 are the most likely. If it's #2 you have almost succeeded. If it's #3 I will try to be more patient with you.

I just thought you should know.

Sincerely,

Kori